Fair To Say

Takeru Kobayashi is under pressure. Beaten into second place in last year’s Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest by a Californian upstart named Joey Chestnut, breaking the Tsunami’s run of six consecutive titles, the International Federation of Competitive Eating has Kobayashi ranked third going into late-stage preparations for the 2008 edition of the annual July 4 contest. Like Tiger Woods and Roger Federer, Kobayashi has reached the rarified heights of sport where he takes himself above the rough and tumble of regular competitions, concentrating on pacing himself for the big events and working on his place in the annals of history. He now faces his greatest challenge yet.

Apart from the reigning champ Chestnut, the quiet legend Kobayashi has to deal with mohawked #2 Patrick Bertoletti for the Independence Day mastication. Pending qualification, there may also be newcomer Patrick Vandam, who hails from Chicago and has made a big recent splash, finishing second to Bertoletti in his debut event on May 10. Surprisingly, there is not a major contender from the New England area, which is otherwise enjoying a golden era of cross-disciplinary sporting dominance.

This is a sport, by the way, where you get penalised for “epic detritus”, as happened to #33-ranked Loren Yabrough in the latest warmup event, handing the win to #25-ranked Pete Davekos. The mind boggles… well, not so much boggles as tries rapidly to clear all thoughts about the meaning of such a phrase from permanent memory.

The major talking point in the lead up to July 4 is the revelation that the competition is likely to be curtailed from 12 minutes per round to just 10. Chestnut is outraged as it doesn’t suit his stamina-strong style, and while you’d think this would be advantage Tsunami, speculation is that the real edge goes to the younger Patricks.

To illustrate the lack of acknowledgement in the wider community for Kobayashi and his quadruple world record breaking feats, one only needs visit the Wikipedia entry for Kobayashi, which is a disambiguation page. To get down to the link to “Takeru Kobayashi (competitive eater)” you have to go past 23 other names. Twenty-three! A murderer gets sixth billing, for Akira’s sake! No respect.

To you, brave and noble Kobayashi, I shall raise my beverage and toast your efforts on July 4. Om nom nom, my friend. Arrom nom nom.